Questions Every Day - QED

 It's a different experience to take care of someone else's kids. Since I am not a family member or someone they knew in the past, we have a chance to start new. I meet new kids where they are. I want to spend time with the kids, their families, and their caretakers to help understand how best I can help a kid I'm spending time with, but I find it's the actual time I spend with the kid alone and with other kids that I really learn how they deal with the world. 

There are a couple of things I like to do with kids every time they come to me and most important are the Questions Every Day. 

First, I ask each kid to tell me how they are doing. As a tool, I use a chart with expressions and emotions and ask that kid where they are on the chart. I make sure that that kid knows how they are feeling is important, that sharing it is important, and that I'm paying attention. I also make sure the kid knows that changing emotions are OK too so if their feeling changes during the car ride, they can let me know.

 

At the end of an event like the ride home at the end of a school day, I ask these questions:

1. What was something good that happened today?

2. What was something you wish would have gone differently?

3. What is something you did well today?

4. What do you look forward to?

I wasn't asking for the best or worst, just whatever they wanted to share. These little things really helped me get familiar with the kids who were new to me and if there seems to be a trend or a special event to pay attention to, I make sure to share that with the other adults taking care of that kid. No kid was allowed to talk over another kid or critique what another kid had said.  One young boy I drove answered one of these questions exactly the same every day for the first week. That was OK too. For a few minutes, each kid had their own time to tell about their day.

I keep track of each kid's answers to the Questions Every Day and share them with the parents who are interested.

I try to make their time with me as comfortable as possible. I keep healthy snacks and drinks in my car and whoever is inside gets to pick out what they want before we get moving. I also keep blankets and pillows in my car for anyone who needs to nap or wants to warm up. (I moved to Nevada from Minnesota.)

Every kid knows their responsibility in my car - get into their seat, stow their bags and gear, put on their seatbelt ("click" + hands in the air like on a roller coaster), be respectful to all, and clean up as they leave.

Music in the car varies depending on who is riding and what their parents prefer if anything. 

My car is not a democracy (I'm in charge), but I want it to be fair and comfortable. 

Asking these Questions Every Day makes me mindful of how I'm doing too. I've included these questions in my daily journal for myself.